Relationship or E-lationship?

To Share is Human.
To Unplug is Divine.

Does it take Superpower strength to unplug these days?
What kind of willpower does it take to resist the urge to overshare?

Are we losing our ability to communicate with others the traditional way - or is the traditional way becoming obsolete?

These questions started swirling through my head after overhearing a conversation while in the checkout line at the grocery store.

Woman 1:  "Hiiiiii how arrrrrre youuuuuu????? So gooooo to seeee youuuuu..."
I immediately was drawn to this conversation because they genuinely seemed so glad to see each other.
Woman 2:  "Oh my gosh hiiiiiiiii....goooooood...yeahhhh youuuu tooooo!!!"
So far, so good.  We have eye contact, enthusiasm, long drawn out, exaggerated girly exclamations.  Seems legit.  And then...it happened.
Woman 1:  "Can I just say that the photo of the panini you posted the other day on FB literally made me drool?"
Woman 2:  "I knowww, riiiight?  I took it with Instagram before I took a bite, but I could hardly stand having to wait to eat it because I couldn't get the right angle.."
Woman 1:  "Oh my gosh I hate when that happens - you want to get the right angle so it looks even better in the photo."
Woman 2:  "It really was delicious."
At this point, my eyebrow was furrowed and I think I had a perplexed look on my face.  I was kind of taken aback at how relevant and real this conversation was because this kind of stuff is happening everywhere.
Back to the conversation - it got even better.
Woman 2:  "And speaking of Facebook, I saw your photos from Disney! Looks like you had a great time except when you posted about your little guy getting sick on that one ride and throwing up on your lap - that was horrible."
Woman 1:  "Oh - you can't imagine how bad it smelled - it was sour and full of chunks  - and worse yet, I spent over $100 on that lunch only for him to throw it up.."
Woman 2:  "Yeahh, I remember you posting that - ...poor kid."
Woman 1: "But did you see the pool photos?  That pool was amazing!"
Woman 2:  "No I didn't see those."
Woman 1:  "Ohhh you missed those?  You HAVE TO SEE THOSE.  As soon as you get home, promise me you'll go back to my page and scroll through the photos again - you'll just die when you see how gorgeous the pool was..I CANNOT believe you missed those - they were the ones where I took a photo of my toes at the end of my reclining chair by the pool...really you missed those? So weird.  Facebook has been acting so weird lately...it's just so annoying!"
Ok...so now I feel like woman 2 is being chastised for not clicking through the entire series of "Our Family Trip to Disney..."   I can sense tension in the air starting to form.
Woman 2:  "Hey are you going to so and so's Pampered Chef party on Thursday? I saw you were on the Event page of people that were invited..."
Woman 1:  "Pffft.  Are you joking?  She had the nerrrrrrve to invite me through Facebook?  I don't even check those Events on Facebook because I am connnnnnstantly getting invited to stuff.  I mean can't she just take the time to texxxxt people about the party instead of just expecting them to check on Facebook for every single event in their friends' lives? It's just soooo rude."
Ummmm hello?  Judge Judy?  So what you're saying is, you expect everyone to be constantly checking their Social Media outlets for YOUR stuff but when someone does the same you point the finger?  Ohh and text?  Text an invite?  Bahahahahaa.  Poor Emily Post is rolling over in her grave!  Oh the humanity!

Are we rewriting the book on Social Graces? (google images)

Unfortunately, it was my turn to check out at the register so I had to move along in line and miss how their story ended.  Just for fun though - I thought I'd make up my own ending.

Woman 1:  What are your plans for Sunday's Superbowl?
Woman 2:  Oh we are going to stay home and just tweet about what we think of the commercials and stuff. I'm also going to make a Stadium made strictly of cheese and snack foods.  Don't worry, I'll post a photo of it on Facebook so you can see it!  What are you guys doing?
Woman 1:  We're having a party at our house with some friends - but I'll be watching for your tweets while keeping an eye on Facebook to see what everyone else is up to!
Woman 2:  Well, be sure to post pics of your Superbowl spread too!!  I am sure I'll be drooling over your stuff as always!
Woman 1: OK then, it was realllllly goood to seeee youuuuu.  You loooook amaaaaaazing! I'll be "seeing" you on Facebook soon!  *insert silly giggle here*
Woman 2:  Ohhhh youuuu tooooo.  taaaaake caaaaare!
Woman 1:  Oh and don't forget - as soon as you get home - check my Disney photos for the pool pics and let me know how you like them! *tee hee!*

I don't know what's happening these days, but I'm just going to put it this way.
I know too much.  I know political affiliations, views on gun control, marriage, I know who likes to Vaguebook on a regular basis, I know who is dating, separated, suffering, sick, happy, volunteering, out to eat, on the couch, snuggled up, eating, drinking, peeing, pooping, vomiting, snotty, cleaning, cooking, baking, voting, on vacation.  Jeez.  I know. I knowwwwwwwwwww it alllllllllllllllllll!



Seriously.  I do.  I know what you did last summer, the summer before that, the springs in between that and every damn winter as well.  I know - all of it.  True Story. (source: imdb)



And the weird thing is - some of it is stuff I don't really want or need to know.  I mean- for almost 40 years, I've lived my life being perfectly happy not knowing how often people/friends/family/acquaintances dine out and what their dinner looked like.   When two of my friends, became friends with each other - I was happy learning this eventually through a conversation with one or both of them - but now I am being constantly reminded on Facebook in this horrific scrolling bar in the right side with more information than I could ever process in a lifetime.  So and so is now friends with so and so.  so and so just read an article on cnn.com, so and so just checked in at Long John Silver, so and so just guessed "Love is a Battlefield" on SongPop.  The worst part is, I can't even navigate well enough on Facebook now to know where to shut some of this info off - and how to ensure that I'm not guilty of this stuff as well.  I mean if I indulge in a game of SongPop, and guess the song Maniac is everyone I'm friends with going to get that newsflash that I have so little social life that I'm sitting on the laptop playing Songpop? What about if I innocently "like" a status that a friend posted - or commented "how cute!" on a photo of their pet/baby/cupcakes/etc.  Every time I comment, it's probably letting my FB friends know that I did. Too much.  It's awful.  Look - obviously, it's kind of fun to have a newsfeed on Facebook - otherwise I would've deleted my account years ago. Honestly, there is something very  entertaining in a borderline -voyeur kind of way.  It's kind of nice to know that you aren't the only one with the winter blues, or with sick kids, or with insomnia.  I mean we all want to feel like we're not alone in the rat race.  So there is some joy that comes with scrolling through on a Friday night knowing most of my friends are in their jammies at 7pm.  It's natural to want to share in that manner. 

(http://www.funscrape.com/Cover/904/Check+Me+Facebook.html)

Now, everywhere you turn, you're being reminded not to share too much on Facebook because it's there until you die and left for your kids and grandchildren to look up as well.  I mean, it's got to be common sense that when using any social media, you should apply the motto less is more and then you won't have to worry about things coming back to bite you.  I mean too much of a good thing doesn't make it a great thing - it makes it annoying and overdone. Moderation.  Is there a such thing?  I hope so.  I remember a few years back when I first got on Facebook there was this hysterical British parody of what if Facebook was a real life process.  If you haven't seen it - it's pretty funny.  Check it out here.

(http://spuse.tumblr.com/post/1010236660/internet-addiction)

So true. ( someecards)

The other problem is we are so readily available and reachable via cell phones, texts, ipads, messaging, email, etc - that we are expected  to stay plugged in and at everyone's beckon call.  Try unplugging for an hour and someone trying to reach you (God forbid they call your home phone  - that is, if you still have a home phone) - they'll think you've been abducted by aliens from another planet.  Where WERE you??  I was texting you! I sent you a message on Facebook! (which by the way now has a timestamp to show the other person that you did in fact SEE it and you are officially being ignored..paranoia takes over at this point).  What did I do? What did I say?  Whoa.  STOP THE MADNESS!

Oh I love this one  - source:  “Our Connected World” a cartoon by David Horsey · Check Twitter Dammit!

We cannot lose our right to unplug.  If there is an absolute emergency - people will be able to contact you.  They will.  We cannot become so emotionally disconnected and so technologically connected that we become robotic in nature.  That would be awful.  We've got to get back to some sense of logical, realistic, sensible sense of normalcy.  Stepping away from the computer shouldn't be traumatic, rather it should bring some peace and quiet, along with a sense of connecting with those around us in a more intimate, personal way.

(someecards)

Until next time, be sure to share this blog with everyone you know on Twitter, Facebook, and other Social Media so that people know what you're up to, what you're reading, and what not.  (KIDDING!)  Also, rest assured if you are guilty of any of these things, don't worry, I am, too.  Just trying to keep up with modern times, that's all.  wink wink. 

Cyber hugs and all of that high techy kinda stuff..
~DG
PS - How annoying to even ask - but if you have a second, will you throw me a sympathy vote on the Circle of Moms contest?  Ewww.  I hate even asking - it's so door-to-door sales-y feeling.  But I'm in it and there's no turning back now - so please help me not make an ass out of myself.  Thanks in advance. xo  http://www.circleofmoms.com/top25/Top-25-Funny-Moms-2013